Sunday, December 11, 2011

So many things i'm supposed to be doing, so little energy

It's finals time, it's the holidays, i'm supposed to be dilligent with my diet and blood sugar so I can get surgery soon. 

All i want to do is sleep.  It's not that I could care less, it all stays there in my mind and I feel more guilty as each day goes by.  I think I may be slipping into a major depressive episode - I've slep a lot this weekend.  Maybe I am in one - just not sleeping 24/7.

I miss people - it's the holidays and I miss my boys, my dad, and my friend Barb.

The girls' dad must've quit his job - we've stopped getting child support, and we're kind of dependant on it.  I've missed school a couple times last week because I didn't have gas money, and I had put a deposite down for all of us to go to a play in Milwaukee with the drama club, and we couldn't go and i've chumped out on my obligations.  And what about Christmas pressents for the kids?  I should have expected this from him and feel foolish that I didn't.

I'm just filled with so much sadness, and don't know where to put it.  :(

I just wanna go home, and I don't even know what that means.